How to Learn from Your Mistakes and Grow from the Experience

Give yourself permission to mess up.

Making mistakes is a normal part of learning and growing. Whether you're doing something for the first time or the 50th time, you're going to make some mistakes along the way—it's just part of being human! The amazing part about letting go and allowing yourself to make some mistakes is that once you do that, you're likely to pay more careful attention so that you don't make as many mistakes as you would have otherwise. To implement this, get in the habit of telling yourself before you start something or try anything for the first time, "I'm new at this and I'm not going to be good at it right away. I'm going to make mistakes and that's okay." Embracing mistakes also frees you up to experiment, take risks, and engage in creative problem-solving—all things that are essential to make progress. On the other hand, the fear of making mistakes can keep you from trying new things, taking calculated risks, or thinking outside of the box.

Admit your mistakes as soon as you notice them.

Owning up to your mistakes is a real sign of strength. Although it might be hard at first, typically people will respect you for owning up to the mistake you've made. This means owning up to the mistake within yourself as well. As love and transformation coach Jennifer Butler notes, "It really becomes this radical responsibility for your life and seeing how you are the co-creator of whatever it is that you continuously keep doing." Clinical psychologist Julia Yacoob notes that "though it might be hard, and though there might be worry attached to admitting having made a mistake, generally the outcome is well-received." Generally speaking, the sooner you admit the mistake, the better off everyone will be. Mistakes are typically easier to correct if you're able to draw attention to them pretty quickly after making them.

Correct your mistake if possible.

You're more likely to retain the lesson if you make the correction yourself. Sometimes a mistake is pretty easy to correct—and if that's the situation you're in, take responsibility for making things right. If the mistake isn't something you can easily correct, though, you can at least alert others to it so they're aware that there's a problem. For example, if you work for a website and you make a mistake in an article you've written, it might be something that you can correct yourself. But if you've made a factual mistake, the website might need to write and publish an acknowledgment of the mistake along with the correction.

Apologize for your mistake if necessary.

Show integrity by owning up to your mistake and accepting responsibility. Offer a genuine apology to anyone who was potentially affected by your mistake and let them know you'll make sure it doesn't happen again. If you've already fixed the mistake, let them know—if not, you might offer to correct it if that's something that would be appropriate for you to do under the circumstances. Through your apology, it might help to explain to others why the mistake happened. You're not making an excuse here—you're simply identifying where you have room to grow and improve. It's also helpful to explain what steps you're going to take to ensure the mistake won't happen again—if and when you know what those are. You might also ask for help analyzing the mistake so you can prevent it from happening again in the future. It can be tough to apologize and accept responsibility this way, but clinical psychologist Julia Yacoob advises that you "should evaluate what is going to be best in the long term, not what's going to be hardest in the short term."

Reframe your mistake as an opportunity.

Mistakes open the door for you to learn and grow. A mistake simply points to any issues you might be having and tells you where you should focus your energy if you want to improve. Look at the things that you did well and place the mistake within that context. Then, you can recognize how much progress you'll make if you're able to implement the lessons you learn from your mistake. Your brain typically responds to mistakes in one of two ways—either by going into problem-solving mode or by shutting down and avoiding thinking about the mistake entirely. If you have more of a shut-down response, it might take you a little more effort to reframe your mistakes, but you can certainly do it. Clinical therapist Rebecca Tenzer notes that "It's important to show self-love and forgiveness when you make mistakes... Practicing gratitude is a really effective way to work on self-love and self-compassion."

Reflect back on the cause of your mistake.

Analyze your mistake to figure out what went wrong. Reflective thinking is really important if you're going to learn anything from your mistake. This doesn't mean that you're dwelling on the past. Clinical therapist Rebecca Tenzer notes that you can think of this as "an area of improvement that you'd like to work on so you are validating that there has been an issue, but not letting your past define who you are as a person in the present." Ask yourself the following questions: What were you trying to do? What went right and what went wrong? When did it go wrong? Why did it go wrong? Keep asking "why" until you've drilled down to the root cause of the mistake.

Figure out how to avoid repeating the mistake.

Build the skills you need to implement the lesson you learned. What you need to truly learn from your mistake depends on the type of mistake it was and why you made it. You might need to gain more knowledge or you might simply need to do things in a different way next time. Make sure you have what you need on hand. For example, if you mistakenly formatted a spreadsheet incorrectly, you might need to go back and learn the formatting commands for your spreadsheet program. As another example, if you found you were making typos on a report, you might want to install grammar and spelling checkers on your word processing app to catch most of those mistakes the next time around.

Set a goal to implement the lesson you learned.

Use "get better" goals that encourage continuous growth and learning. These types of goals allow you to improve incrementally and acknowledge that you're not going to be great at something right away. Through deliberate practice, you'll eventually produce something of high quality if you think in terms of improving just a little each time you do it. For example, if you're learning how to cook, you might experiment with different spices to season your food and record your opinion on each attempt. This allows you to learn how each spice affects the taste of your food and find the right combination that works for you.

Ask for feedback and help.

Feedback lets you know what you're doing right and where you can improve. Asking for feedback and tips on improvement will help you learn how to do things correctly. Plus, when you're using that feedback to find out how to prevent mistakes on your own, you're more likely to remember the lessons you've learned. For example, you could read an instruction sheet that tells you how to format your report, but you'll probably remember the process far better if you ask several people to show you how they format their reports. If you run into trouble, don't hesitate to ask someone who has more knowledge or experience to help you out. There's nothing wrong with admitting that you can't do everything on your own!

Keep a journal of your progress.

Journaling helps you see how far you've come. Mistakes don't happen in a vacuum. When you're keeping track of your mistakes and what you've learned from them, it helps you see how you're learning and growing. You'll know how you've improved and where you need to apply more effort. Writing a journal entry is a great way to reflect on your mistakes so you can figure out how best to avoid repeating them in the future. Your journal also gives you something to look back on if you want to congratulate yourself on your growth and achievement.

Try mindfulness exercises to stay in the moment.

Mistakes often happen when people are on "autopilot." When you're just doing things automatically without really thinking about them or being mentally present, details often get overlooked, opening the door to mistakes. The more mindful you are, the fewer mistakes you'll make. Try meditation as a way to calm your mind and get you used to being present in the moment. You might also try deep breathing exercises to ground yourself and bring yourself back to the present if you find your mind wandering.

Cultivate a growth mindset.

Believe you are capable of growing and learning. Studies show people who have a growth mindset have a different brain reaction to mistakes and are more likely to learn from them than people who believe intelligence is fixed. Essentially, if you believe it's possible to gain wisdom and intelligence, you will! Don't have a growth mindset? Here are some things you can do to develop one: Shift your perspective to look at challenges as opportunities. Replace your negative thoughts with more positive ones. Trust and believe in yourself rather than seeking validation and approval from others. Focus on the process rather than the end result.