He will soon announce his return on Radio

THIRUVANANTHAPURAM: A smile replete with gratitude and immense happiness lights up his face as we meet A M Sivaraman. He doesn’t know who all to thank; words fail him as he folds his hands in reverence and beams with joy while showing us the cheque in his hands. He earned that after rendering a poem he wrote at the All India Radio station on Tuesday.Sivaraman is not a budding poet. Rather, his address now reads - an inmate of the Care Home run by the Sri Sathya Orphanage Trust at Venjaramoodu with the support of the District Panchayat and the Social Welfare Department. The 46-year-old has left behind a home at Pathanamthitta (Thottuva, Thengamom) and is now among those 23 people who are disowned by their families even after being cured of their mental illness.A carpenter by profession, Sivaraman was pushed into the dark alleys of life after he started having frequent bouts of mental disorder. “It aggravated when somebody stole some of my tools. That instilled in me a kind of insecurity and fear. And this happened during one such moment,” says Sivaraman showing his right palm, which has just three fingers. “I ran around in frenzy and happened to go near the transformer. The electric shock burnt off my other two fingers.”As he started getting frequent attacks of mental disorder, he was taken to the Mental Hospital, Peroorkada. Though he was cured, his family was not ready to take him back. It was nearly a year ago that Sivaraman was adopted by the Care Home. “It was at the Care Home that I found a reason to live. My mind became clear and life itself changed,” says Sivaraman.His penchant for writing poems saw the Sai Trust officials arranging for a recording of his poem at the AIR. Sivaraman admits that he had been very weak in studies. “I can’t write and read very well.” But, a look at his poem wouldn’t say so. The poem ‘Karshakakkani’, which he read at AIR, is about the harvest reaped by a farmer and also calls upon the need to toil hard.He, a bachelor, definitely, misses home. “My parents are no more. I have siblings, but they don’t need me. In fact, when I used to write poems, my elder brother used to say that the reason for my illness was my habit of writing poems!”Sivaraman had built a home for him, named it ‘Poojalayam’, and even lived there for two years. “I don’t know if that house is still there!,” he says with a sigh. He keeps writing letters to his siblings, but has never got a reply.Later this month, Sivaraman will move to Sai Gramam, where he will be given a job. Hearing which, Ajikumar, the manager of Care Home, says: “Which means, I will miss a trusted companion.” According to K N Anandakumar, Executive Director of the Sai Trust, steps will be taken to publish Sivaraman’s poems. “I just want to live...have a meaningful life...,” says Sivaraman, when asked about his ambitions.AIR will broadcast his poetry recital on November 18 at 8 pm.