How to Cope when Your Friend Stops Talking to You

If You Think You Haven't Done Anything Wrong

Consider the possibility that you haven't done anything to provoke this silence. In some cases, people use silence as a means for breaking off a relationship because they lack the ability to explain their actions or preferences. If your friend has reached a decision, for whatever reason, that they don't want to carry on with the friendship, this might be an explanation as to why your friend has stopped talking to you. It's a harsh thing to realize but it might be the cause in some cases, a silent way of breaking a friendship. Consider whether there is a new relationship in your friend's life. Sometimes a new boyfriend/girlfriend or a change in family members can cause a person to change their friendship priorities. It's not an excuse to go silent but it may be a reason behind the silence.

Ask your friend to talk with you about what's happened. He or she may agree to discuss the matter with you openly and honestly. However, if your friend refuses to talk and continues to ignore you, realize that your friend has chosen to take this passive and immature approach to cutting you off rather than being truthful with you.

Realize when it's healthier for you to let go. After you've tried several times to talk to your friend to no avail, it's not likely that your friend is going to change this approach. A friend who continues to ignore is no friend and ceases to be worth your time. As much as this hurts, for your own sake, you'll need to start looking after yourself by realizing that the friendship is probably over.

Seek solace with other friends and family members whom you can trust. Perhaps some of them can shed light on why this person has treated you like this. But most of all, they'll be able to reassure and support you through what will be a sad time. Eventually there will be a new friend who is happy to talk to you. Put this down to experience. Sometimes people do things in life that you just can't fathom but it's down to their internal issues, not about who you are as a problem. Ultimately, it's their loss as much as it is yours.

If You Think It's Your Fault

Consider what you might have done to cause your friend to stop talking to you. If you had an argument, accused your friend of something or failed to support your friend when needed, then you are at least partially involved in whatever influenced your friend to go silent. Consider whether you might have said something unkind, hurtful or thoughtless that encouraged your friend to feel a need to distance themselves from you. Listen to your gut. In some cases, it's not one thing but a series of little things that lead to a "last straw", when someone has finally had enough of excuses, bad attitude or broken promises. Is that possibly the case? Have you been a bit of a self-absorbed nuisance lately? In some cases, if you've been going through an "it's-all-about-me" phase, such as planning a wedding or going through something major in your life, your friend may have reached the endpoint of coping with your drama or neediness.

Apologize to your friend. Be honest about your actions and accept responsibility for hurting your friend and offer to make amends. Explain that you understand how they are hurt by what you did and that you're sorry. Reader Poll: We asked 288 wikiHow readers who’ve argued with a loved one, and 61% of them agreed that the best way to show your commitment to rebuilding the relationship is by apologizing and taking responsibility for your actions. [Take Poll]

Allow your friend time to consider your apology. Don't push things, just let time heal your friend's feelings. With luck, your friend will accept your apology and things will smooth over between the two of you. When things are back to normal, take care not to do the same thing again that caused the rift in the first place. If your friend doesn't want to talk to you still, see the solution offered at the end of the following part. Tell your friend that you're happy to resume being friends whenever it feels like the right time for them. No pressure, no judgment. More help can be found in How to confront someone who is giving you the silent treatment.