Impressing a Girl that You Don't Know Well
Dress to impress. Not only will you look and smell more attractive, taking care of your grooming shows her that you're mature and capable of important daily tasks. Also pay attention to the style of clothes that she wears, and wear the same style of clothing, this will help her to relate with you and find you overall more attractive. And pay particular attention to these areas:Tip: Go easy on the cologne. You can use a few sprays of cologne or body spray, but don't go over 2. Shower at least once a day. Wash your hair, soap up all over, and rinse off. Use a nice smelling shower scrub as well, something not too feminine, but not too masculine either, maybe try a smell like mint, or lemon. Keep your mouth clean. Brush twice daily, floss, and use mouthwash. For help in the middle of the day, use breath mints and chewing gum. Manage facial hair by shaving daily. If you're growing facial hair, make sure it's trimmed to a uniform length, and not scraggly or unruly. If you tend to have a unibrow, consider plucking any stray hairs over your nose. Wear a combination deodorant-antiperspirant. Apply it as soon as you get out of the shower in the morning. Make sure it also doesn't smell too feminine or too masculine either. Wear clean clothes. If you find yourself scrambling for fresh laundry, consider setting up a regular washing schedule, like doing all your laundry every Sunday night.
Be polite. Being well-mannered doesn't mean you're boring — it means you know how to treat other people with respect, a quality most girls want in their boyfriends. Show her you know how to be considerate by doing these things for everyone, not just her: Say "please," "thank you" and "you're welcome." As well as asking with a "I'd appreciate it if" or "I would like for you..." If someone is walking through a door behind you, hold it open for him or her. Avoid cursing or saying anything crude in public, or in mixed company. It's fine to relax a little around your friends, but try to show your best side around people you don't know well. For more help, see How to Have Good Manners.
Think before you speak. Everyone slips up and says stupid things, but try your best to limit it when you're around this girl. Take a few seconds to evaluate what you're going to say before you spit it out. Don't talk up other girls. You might think making her jealous is a good idea, but steer clear. Discussing the looks of other girls in front of her will make you seem shallow and fickle. As far as she knows, she's the only one you're interested in. Avoid coming off as a bully. Don't throw out careless insults or put other people down, even if they're meant to be funny. She might not be able to pick up on your humorous tone and take your words at face value. Don't tell dirty jokes. There's a time and place for wicked humor — and it's when you're hanging out with your guy friends. Keep on a lid on it when you're around her.
Pay her a sincere compliment. One thing you should say when you're around her is a nice, genuine compliment. It's not as difficult as it seems! Here's what to do: Think of what you like best about her. It could be her smile, her laugh, her intelligence — whatever strikes you as her best quality. (The only caveat to this is that you should not compliment her on any physical traits except her eyes or her smile. She might have a great figure, but now's not the time.) Do it semi-privately. You don't have to get her completely alone to pay her a compliment, but try not to do it with all of her friends or your friends listening closely. You could also pull it off in a text or instant message. Keep it short and sweet. No need to wax poetic for three or four minutes on her best qualities. A simple one-liner will do. Pay attention to how you word it. Instead of saying "That's a pretty dress" or "I like your outfit," say "You look really great in that dress." Compliment the woman, not the article of clothing! Get the body language right. Smile! Keep eye contact while you say it, too.
Make her feel special. Find little ways to let her know that you think she's an extraordinary person, and she'll definitely notice. Don't ignore her or play hard to get. If she texts you, text back. If she wants to talk, try to make the time even if it's slightly inconvenient. Go out of your way to help her. If she could use a hand with something, offer your assistance! It could be carrying heavy or cumbersome items, going with her to run an errand, or talking to her through a difficult situation. Let her talk. The #1 mistake when talking to a girl is focusing on yourself. Girls are way more comfortable when they talk about common interests. Ask about her interests, hobbies, favorite books, music, etc. If she asks you a question, answer it in a few, short sentences and then redirect the question back at her. This engages her in the conversation. Start an inside joke with her! By doing this the two of you will share a secret connection that is shared between only the two of you. This will make her feel special, included and closer to you. It will also give you an easy-to-come-up-with conversation starter. But keep in mind, if you overuse the inside joke, it could quickly go from fun to boring, so only use it when you must.
Impressing a Friend
Spend time on self-improvement. Dedicate the hours you would otherwise spend with her (or thinking about her) to feeling better about yourself. You'll be a new and improved guy with better self-confidence, whether or not she's interested in that at the end of the day. Remember that you're not doing it for her right now — you're doing it for you, so that you feel like the best version of yourself.Tip: Step up your grooming. Try making your routine a little more rigorous, and see how it affects your self-esteem. Amp up your skincare, try a different hairstyle, shower more regularly, try a new cologne, and so on. Take control of your life. If there's some aspect of your life that currently feels out of control — whether it's school, your career, or finances — now's the time to rein it back in. Figure out what you need to do to stabilize your situation and feel like you're back on track. Then go do it — don't waste any more time stressing about it. Yes, girls are attracted to men who seem like they're in control of their lives. But even better, you'll feel confident and self-assured that things are going your way, because you've made it so. Cultivate a new hobby or interest. Is there a sport you've always wanted to try? Or a subject you've always wanted to learn more about? Now's the time! Devote yourself to whatever extracurricular interest strikes your fancy and make it your new focus. Girls are interested in people who are interesting, and having hobbies or outside activities make you interesting.
Get some space away from her. It's the hardest thing to do when you're crazy about a girl, but it's the only sure way to get out of the friendzone. If you want her to see you in a different light, you have to take some away time so your relationship can reset when you start interacting again. Commit to being in minimal contact with her for at least 3 or 4 weeks. It sounds like forever, but you can do it! Be polite when you see her, but don't hang out with her, don't engage in long phone calls, don't go on dates, and answer her texts with replies that are short and to the point. If she asks why you're being so distant, say that you're taking some time to refocus your priorities. Tell her it's not personal, you're just working on accomplishing goals in other areas of your life. Most girls like someone motivated and ambitious; even if she's distraught that you're not spending as much time with her, this is as good a reason as you can give.
Make a new first impression. After you've been away for a while, you'll have the chance to make another "first" impression when you're ready to interact with her again. If you can play it the right way, she'll start to see you in a whole new light. Look your best. Put extra effort into looking as good as possible when you feel like you're getting close to seeing her again. That way, your next meeting won't catch you off-guard. Make your intentions clear. If you want her to see you as boyfriend material, act like it! Flirt with her. Maintain eye contact. Pay her a smoldering compliment. Don't just fall into old habits and act like you worship the ground she walks on. Make her feel special, but not at the cost of lowering yourself.
Don't offer your time so freely. Instead of being constantly available for her whenever she wants, make her work a little for your attention. For instance, you're not available to come over and watch romantic comedies with her while she complains about her latest break-up; however, you are available to take her to dinner on Friday if she's interested. Tip: Draw a clear line between things you used to do for her in the friendzone, and things you're willing to do for her as a potential boyfriend. Be vigilant about sticking to this difference.
Don't waste time. After you re-initiate contact, don't wait months to ask her out or otherwise move the relationship to the next level. Do it within the week. Ask her out on a date that is clearly romantic. That means: dinner, on the weekend, just the two of you. She'll get the hint. State your feelings for her in a clear, confident way. Let her know that you're interested in being more than friends. Tell her you'll accept her decision if she's not interested, but you can't keep languishing in the friendzone. Break the touch barrier. Hold her hand, give her a hug, offer to cuddle, or otherwise get physical contact on the table. Especially if the touch barrier was a characteristic of your earlier interactions, this is a pretty clear way to send her a message. Remember that old Sean Connery movie quote: "The key to a woman's heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time." The gift doesn't have to be extravagant — try something as simple as a single flower or her favorite treat. Don't make a big deal about giving it to her, just do it with a smile and accept her thanks gracefully.
Accept her decision. If you've tried everything to impress her and she's still not interested in dating, back away gracefully. Sometimes the spark just isn't there. You tried your best, and there are other girls out there who will appreciate the person you are. Move on with confidence!
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