How to Know When Your Relationship Is Over

You don’t feel connected to them.

A lack of emotional connection could be a sign that the relationship’s over. People fall in and out of love, and that’s okay! You may have once felt connected to your partner, but now it feels like you’re on different planets. When you were once curious to know them on a different level, now you may be feeling indifferent. Sit down with your partner and try to get to know them again. If you're detached from the conversation, it may be time to move on.

You have a hard time communicating.

Negative or confrontational communication can pull a relationship apart. If you and your partner can’t talk to one another without starting an argument, it may be time to end things. Constantly picking fights or degrading one another isn’t healthy. If they’re unable to hear you, they don’t deserve you. Set aside time to talk to your partner openly and honestly. Sometimes, couples have a hard time communicating because their busy schedules interfere with everyday conversation.

You struggle to resolve conflicts.

Dodging difficult conversations may show it’s time to go separate ways. Arguments and conflicts are normal in a relationship, but having them daily isn’t. Perhaps they’re overly apathetic and avoid confrontations all together, or they’re extremely prideful and never back down from a fight. It may be time to rethink the relationship if you can never find solid ground with your partner. Use “I” language to say how you feel when communicating with your partner and avoid pointing blame. For instance, say, “I want us to be able to talk more often,” instead of, “You never have time to talk to me anymore.”

You don’t see eye-to-eye.

It may be time to break up if you never agree on things together. Bickering is normal in a relationship, but if all you and your partner do is butt heads, it could be time to move on. You should be able to make decisions and agree with your partner more often than not. Ask yourself if you feel heard in the relationship. When you share an opinion that your partner disagrees with, do they start an argument or accuse you of being wrong? It’s okay not always seeing eye-to-eye, but it’s important to respect each other’s opinions.

You don’t trust them.

Doubting your partner’s loyalty is a big red flag. If you feel like you can’t trust your partner, it may be because you’re doubting their loyalty or the strength of the relationship. Trust is very important when it comes to building lasting relationships, and if you can’t trust your partner, the relationship may not be worth having. Consider how you feel when you’re away from your partner. Are you constantly checking their social media pages? Do you worry about if they’re really where they say they are? If so, you likely don’t trust them. Know that it’s perfectly valid to distrust a loving partner if they’ve wronged you in the past or you’ve experienced mistrust with an ex.

You’re not attracted to them.

A lack of physical chemistry may be a sign things are over. Sexual energy ebs and flows in relationships, but feeling nothing towards your partner could indicate that your feelings for them are fleeting. If it’s time for the relationship to end, you may not have the same urge to hug, kiss, or touch them as you did before. Keep in mind that not every romantic relationship is physical. If you’ve never felt sexually attracted to your partner (and vice versa), that’s okay! You know your feelings and relationship best.

You don’t see a future with them.

It’s likely time to end things if you can’t picture a future life with them. A good sign of a healthy relationship is if you can imagine yourself with your partner years and years down the line. But, if you can’t see yourself marrying, having kids, or going on a vacation together, it might be time to move on. Similarly, it’s likely the end of the relationship if your partner doesn’t discuss or make future plans with you. Close your eyes and think about where you see yourself in 5 years. Are they in the picture? If not, it might be best to go your separate ways.

You’re constantly thinking about someone else.

Fantasizing about others may indicate you want to explore your options. Thinking about someone else romantically is common, but doing so repeatedly isn’t. If you’re fixated on someone else and are constantly thinking about them instead of your partner, it may be time to reconsider your relationship. Ask yourself, “What does this person have that my partner doesn’t?” to help determine what might be missing in your relationship.

You don’t miss them.

If you could care less when they’re gone, it’s likely time to end things. Space is healthy in a relationship, but if you truly love your partner, you’ll miss them a little when they’re gone. If you don’t, it may be time to move on from the relationship. Consider taking a trip or spending the night at a friend’s house. Then, reflect on how you feel without your partner nearby. If you’re constantly picking up your phone to text them, you likely miss them. If you have to remind yourself to think about them, you probably don’t miss them.

You feel tired after being around them.

Feeling drained after being with them may be a red flag. You should feel energized and uplifted after hanging out with your partner, especially if you’re in love. So, if you’re drained emotionally after being in their presence and all you want to do is take a nap and not talk to anyone, it’s likely a sign you’re not as compatible as you originally thought. Share your needs with your partner and set new boundaries if you want to try and make the relationship work. Maybe you need more alone time or would prefer if they weren’t in your personal space all the time.

You don’t want to hang out with them.

It’s a red flag if you’re not excited to be with your partner. Solo time is encouraged in healthy relationships. If you’re always looking for ways to spend time apart, you probably feel smothered. It’s likely a sign that it’s time to move on if you’re constantly digging for an excuse not to be with them. Talk to your partner about having more “me-time” or alone time. If they oblige, it might be enough to save the relationship.

You’re bothered by them.

If you’re annoyed by your partner, it probably isn’t meant to be. It’s normal for people to annoy you occasionally (even your partner), but it's likely not a good sign if someone makes your eyes roll 24/7. You might feel on edge or bored around them or constantly feel like your buttons are being pushed. If this is the case, consider talking to your partner about how you feel, especially if you want to continue the relationship. Tell them if something they say or do bother you. If they’re willing to make a change, the relationship may be worth pursuing.

Your goals don’t align with theirs.

Different ideas for the future may be a sign you’re on different paths. While you don’t have to share every goal with your partner, you should be on the same page when it comes to relationship matters, such as if you both want to get married, start a family, or move. A partner should be your left-hand man. If you feel like you’re on different life paths, you may not be compatible life-long partners. Talk to your partner about what they see in their future before things get too serious. Life goals can change over time, but it’s important to know where you both stand to know if you’re meant to be together.

You’re not happy.

At the end of the day, your happiness matters most. If your usual bubbly personality is deflated and you’re constantly depressed, it may be because you’re in a relationship that’s no longer serving you. A partner should help you feel your best, not put a damper on your mood. Take a moment to ask yourself, “When am I most happy?” If the answer is, “With my partner,” things are looking good. If you instinctively think about a time before your partner, it may be time to call it quits.

You don’t feel respected.

If you’re constantly questioning your worth, it may be time to end things. In a healthy relationship, both parties are respectful of each other, even during disagreements. You should feel loved, honored, and uplifted by your partner. So, if your partner makes you feel like a lesser version of yourself, it’s likely time to call it quits. Be open and honest with your partner about how you’re feeling. Vocalize what behavior or comments make you feel weak or doubtful. If you’re truly meant to be, they’ll listen and address your concerns.