How to Set Up a Date over Text

Send an opening text.

Start by saying something interesting to get a conversation going. They’re more likely to say “yes” if you take the time to talk to them first. Ask how their day was—if you know something happening in their life right now, ask them about that. You can even reference something you’ve talked about in the past. Stay away from generic texts like “Heyy” or “How are you?” Add a little personality by asking them something personal like, “Hey, how’d that test go today?????” or, “Your dog’s pretty cute. When’d you take that pic of them?” Use proper spelling and grammar when texting them. This will help you stand out and let them know you mean business.

Find out what they like.

Take things slow before you ask them out to get to know them. It doesn’t matter if you’ve known them for years or a matter of minutes, ask them about their interests and hobbies because people change. Seeing what makes them tick now can help you set up a perfect date in the future, so ask them about their favorite places to eat, what they like to do in their free time, and what music they like. “Any good places to eat near you?” “Don’t laugh, but I love going to karaoke on the weekends???? What about you? What do you like to do on the weekends?” “What did your Spotify wrap-up look like this year?????”

Get to know their schedule.

They’re more likely to say “yes” if you plan a date when they’re free. As you get to know them, ask about their daily routine to get an idea for when they may be free. It’s better to figure out their schedule beforehand so they’re more likely to say yes when you ask them out. “What’s your schedule like?” “You sound super busy! What time are your classes usually?” “What do you like to do on the weekends?”

Keep your text short and simple.

You don’t need to write a long message for them to say “yes.” Simply text them at a reasonable time to see if they’d like to do something with you. Here are some examples: “I just got a puppy. Would you wanna come over sometime and meet her?” “There’s a new Mexican restaurant that just opened up. Would you want to check it out with me this weekend?” “I know you’ve always wanted to ride a camel, and there’s a petting zoo happening at the fair next week. I may have heard there’ll be a camel???? Would you want to go with me?”

Ask them to do something specific.

They're more likely to say "yes" to a specific date activity. If they have a favorite restaurant, take them there. If there’s something they’ve always wanted to do, bring them on an excursion to do that thing. The key is to tailor the date to them and make the activity specific. Just asking them to "hang out sometime" is a bit too vague. “Since you’re into video games, would you wanna check out the new arcade with me this weekend?” “I know you love the outdoors, so would you want to go on a hike with me next week?” “Want to grab milkshakes after the game Friday? It can be my treat????”

Give them dates and times to choose from.

Being flexible with your schedule could lead to a quicker “yes.” When you ask them out, let them choose what day of the week works best for them. Rather than dropping a date and time right away, be vague and fill in the details later. “Would you want to catch a movie sometime this weekend?” “The fair is coming to town next week. Wanna go?” “Do you have any spring break plans? I’d love to hangout with you????”

Be chill if they say “yes.”

You’ll likely want to scream with excitement, but stay calm. Keep things cool and collected when you text them back. You want to try and avoid all caps and lots of exclamation marks. Here are some chill responses to try: “Perfect. I’m excited to see you????” “Great! Can’t wait!” “Awesome! I’ll see you then????”

Give them any additional details.

Nail down any remaining specifics to make it official. They said yes, so now you just have to work out the logistics. For example, decide if you'll be meeting them there or picking them up at home. “Want to plan on meeting by the Ferris wheel around 2pm?” “I could pick you up around 6pm since the reservation is at 7pm...” “The arcade opens early, but we can get there around 1pm if you want to grab some lunch before.”

Respond to rejection respectfully.

Be kind even if they say “no.” Sometimes things don’t work out, and that’s okay—try not to be too discouraged! You put yourself out there, and that takes guts. Plus, who’s to say this means you can’t still be friends? Try replying back with: “That’s okay! I’ll see you in homeroom????” “All good. See you tomorrow!” “No problem. Had to shoot my shot????” Thank you for taking the time to respond. Take care.

Confirm the date a few days before.

Remind them they have an awesome date coming up. Not only will this remind them of your exciting date, but it will let them know you’re looking forward to seeing them. Keep your text short, simple, and low key. “Excited to meet you tomorrow????” “Hey, are we still good for this weekend?” “Impatiently waiting for this weekend????”

Send a follow up text after the date.

If all goes well, let them know you want to hang out again. Try not to text them right after you’ve left the date—that might make you seem too desperate. Wait until the next day to tell them you had a great time. “I had a great time last night. We should hang out again soon????” “The pizza last night was amazing, but not as amazing as you???? Want to do it again next weekend?”