How to Talk to Your Daughter About Her Period

Talking about Menstruation before She’s Started

Plan ahead to have the talk early. On average, kids begin menstruating between 12 and 13, but some may start much earlier or possibly later. Consider your child's age and tell them casually that you’d like to have a conversation about health and our bodies.

Practice what you plan to say with a partner or friend. Knowing what information you intend to share ahead of time is important to avoid uncomfortable moments for both of you. Try asking other friends or family members how they shared the information with their children to get a feeling for how your own conversation will go.

Have several small informal conversations. It can be intimidating or overwhelming for a young child to have a big talk about something so important. Try starting individual conversations with these topics: “Inside your body are parts that help you grow a baby.” “Some people's bodies work on cycle called the menstrual cycle which takes about 28 days.” "This type of body takes the steps to grow a baby each month, even when the person isn't ready to have a baby yet. This causes them to have a period that causes them to bleed." “Even though a period causes bleeding, there are ways to keep clean during your period. Some of the ways are with pads or tampons."

Keep it positive! It is important to paint a positive picture of menstruation so your child won’t be scared about starting. If a parent is constantly referring to menstruation as “the curse” or in another negative way, their child might have anxiety about starting. Stressing that menstruation is a natural experience that many people share will help them recognize that it is simply the next step in becoming an adult.

Visit your local library with your child. Help them feel comfortable knowing that puberty and sex are not taboo topics by showing them books in the library. Seek out books on puberty such as Whats' the Big Secret by Dr. Laurie Krasney Brown & Marc Brown The Care and Keeping of You by The American Girl Co. "Own Your Period" by Chella Quint

Be prepared to answer follow-up questions. It is okay if you don’t know all the answers. Just look them up together and show your child you are interested in learning too. There are many books and resources available out there. A few helpful websites are http://www.girlshealth.gov/body/period/cycle.html

Explaining Menstruation after She’s Started

Be calm and comforting. The most important thing to remember when talking to your kid about their period is to stay relaxed and encourage her to ask any questions she might have. Remember to keep the conversation positive and encourage her throughout the process. These phrases may help you get the conversation started: "Your body is doing what it is supposed to be doing!" "This is perfectly normal, and many people go through this." "I am here to support you, and I understand what you are going through."

Describe why a period occurs. Explain what happens with the internal reproductive anatomy during a period. Highlight the steps below to help your kid fully understand what is happening with their body. The menstrual cycle takes 28 days and is started by a change in hormone levels. The hormones trigger the ovaries to release an egg cell in the process of “ovulation.” If the egg is unfertilized, it breaks down on its journey through the fallopian tubes into the uterus due to a drop in hormone levels. The egg and lining of uterus are shed from the body in the process of menstruation along with blood from the wall of the uterus.

Discuss the options for hygiene during a period. In most cases a pad is the best option for kids when they first begin having their period until they fully understand their cycle. Tampons can also be used; however, attention must be paid to the absorbency of the tampons and the relative blood flow during a menstrual cycle. It is important to educate your child on the use of pads and tampons as well as and to ensure that they know to change her tampon at least every four hours. It is usually best to use a pad overnight.

Describe the physical symptoms that may accompany a period. Although you don’t want to focus on the uncomfortable symptoms of a period, you should inform your kiddo that periods do cause the uterus to contract which sometimes can cause cramps which feel like a dull aching pain in their lower abdomen or back.

Explain the link between menstruation and pregnancy. Due to fluctuating hormone levels, the menstrual cycle causes the body to undergo changes which create the possibility of pregnancy when engaging in sexual activity. Make sure they understand this possibility to avoid future situations for which they aren't prepared. Use these prompts to broach the subject: "Because you have begun having your period, it is now possible for you to become pregnant." It's important that they know that they can get pregnant by having unprotected sex.

Celebrate with your child. Make them feel comfortable and do something special to let them know that you support them and understand what they are going through. Going out for dinner, baking a cake together, or going to a special event are all ways you can commemorate the occasion and let your kid know that you are there to support them!