How to Tell Your Mom About a Bad Report Card

Having a Conversation with Your Mom

Don’t put it off. Parents appreciate honesty, especially about something as important as your grades. Avoiding this conversation will make you anxious and will likely frustrate her. Try to have a talk with her shortly after you receive your report card. Approach her when she is not busy, stressed, or in a bad mood. Don’t forget, your mom might have access to your grades online. This means she might already know about your bad grades and is waiting for you to approach her.

Highlight a good achievement or task. Starting off a conversation with great news is a good tactic. Before you address your bad grades, tell your mom how well you did in other class. You could even explain why you performed so well in these courses. Alternatively, you could let your mom know that you cleaned your room, mowed the lawn, or made a sports team. For example, you might say: “Mom, I ended up with an A in English! I connected really well with the material and my teacher” or "Mom, I know you've been really busy, so I picked up the kitchen and cleaned the bathrooms for you."

Be honest and upfront about your bad grades. Once you’ve softened the blow with your success, let your mom know about the classes you performed poorly in. In addition to telling her the letter grade, explain why you did poorly in the class. For example, you might say: “While I did great in English, I struggled this semester in my math class. My final grade was a D+. I did great on the homework and in-class assignments, but the tests were overwhelming. My teacher did not offer retakes.” Avoid making excuses.

Propose solutions. Even though you can’t change your final grade, you want to demonstrate to your mom that you will try harder next time. Potential solutions include: Retaking the course with a different instructor Hiring a tutor Attending summer school or a credit recovery program Managing your time better Avoiding classes that your friends are in

Writing a Letter to Your Mom

Write a letter. If you are extremely nervous or struggle with confrontation, consider writing a letter to your mom. Writing a letter allows you to collect, organize, and revise your thoughts before the other person reads them. In the letter, guide your mom through the highs and lows of your report card. Discuss your good grades and tell her what courses you got poor marks in. You should explain why you did poorly in those courses and how you intend to do better next semester. For example, you might write: “Dear Mom, My report card came in the mail today. I aced Gym, Chemistry, and Algebra II. My English grade was better than I expected—I ended up with a B-! I didn't do so well in U.S. History. My final grade was a C-. I studied really hard for the tests and the final, but I have a very hard time writing timed essays. Love, Jordan.”

Give the letter and report card to your mom. Stuff an envelope with your letter and report card. Hand the envelope to your mom and step out of the room so she can read it. Alternatively, you can leave the letter for her on a table or countertop.

Have a follow-up conversation with her. After your mom has read your note, it is likely that she will want to talk to you about it. Don’t panic—she already knows your secret! As you talk to her, remain calm. Express that you value your education and want to improve as a student.

Considering Alternative Solutions

Keep track of your grades. Throughout the semester, check your grades at least once every week. This will allow you to identify potential problems before your final report card is issued. When you notice your grade starting to slip, be proactive. Ask your teacher if you can retake the test, do extra-credit, or turn in late/missing work. If you don’t have access to a computer or the internet, ask your teachers for a grade update each week.

Give your mom regular grade updates. In addition to checking your grades consistently, you should also update your mom on a regular basis. Let her know how you are doing in your courses. When you ace a test, share that with her; when you bomb an assignment, let her know you are struggling. If you keep your mom informed about your grades, your final grades won’t shock her.

Talk to a teacher or trusted adult. Every parent reacts differently to their child’s bad report card. Some are caring and understanding, while others resort to physical violence. If you are afraid that your mom will react negatively, please confide in a teacher, principal, or trusted adult. Allow them to help you with this difficult situation.