She’s not getting enough sleep at night.[1] X Expert Source Jeremy Bartz, PhDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 8 January 2021.
She’s probably getting less than 7-9 hours of sleep each night. Maybe she spent a few extra hours binging her favorite TV show or maybe she pulled an all-nighter studying for that huge exam. Whenever a person gets less than the 7-9 recommended hours of sleep each night, they develop a “sleep debt,” or an amount of sleep that they need to make up. Your GF might just be snoozing to make up for a bad few nights of sleep. Try to think about your girlfriend’s usual schedule. If consistently goes to bed at 1 AM and wakes up at 6 AM, she might use your hangout time as a chance to get some much-needed rest.
She’s overworked.
A busy work schedule might leave her burned out and exhausted. Think about your GF’s behavior over the past few weeks and months. Does she seem relatively happy, or does she seem exhausted, pessimistic, and detached from the world? Lots of stress at work can lead to burnout, which may cause her to hit the hay more often. Ask her if there’s anything you can do to help make her work/life balance less stressful. You could also suggest that she meets with her boss/manager to discuss making some changes to her workload or weekly schedule.
She might be getting sick.
Illnesses like mononucleosis (mono) and the flu can really drain her energy. Pay close attention to her behavior and see how she’s feeling. A fever, cough, and/or a runny or stuffy nose are all tell-tale signs of the flu, while a fever, sore throat, swollen tonsils, and swollen lymph nodes are pretty common symptoms of mono. Even a common cold may leave her feeling a little tired. Encourage her to call or visit the doctor if she seems a bit under the weather. If she’s really sick, she should be getting plenty of rest at home and drinking lots of fluids.
She drank too much the night before.
Alcohol leads to a pretty lousy night’s sleep, which may leave her feeling exhausted the next morning. Alcohol can help you fall asleep fairly quickly, but it also messes with your sleep cycles. This leads to a night of disrupted, low-quality sleep. Think about what she was up to the night before. If she partied pretty hard, she might be napping to make up for a bad night of sleep.
She’s depressed.
Depression and oversleeping often go hand-in-hand. In fact, over 10% of all depressed individuals sleep more than they actually need to. For some people, oversleeping is a type of coping mechanism that helps them escape from their day-to-day lives. Other depressed individuals may have a “delayed sleep phase,” where they fall asleep late and oversleep in the morning. Depression is a very serious, personal issue that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Pay attention to your girlfriend’s mood and temperament each day, and remind her that you’re there for her. Encourage her to see a therapist if she seems to be struggling.
She has Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD).
Racing, anxious thoughts might be keeping her up at night. Everyone feels anxious from time to time, but people with GAD are constantly plagued with worry. Think about how she acts on a day-to-day basis: is she calm and relaxed, or does it seem like something’s always on her mind? Juggling a lot of worry and stress may be affecting her sleep schedule, which could explain some of her extra naps. GAD is a very personal, very internalized mental illness. If you suspect that your GF might be struggling with this, encourage her to see a therapist or other mental health professional.
She’s anemic.
Anemia is a medical term for when your body is low on red blood cells. Red blood cells are responsible for bringing oxygen to the rest of your body; when a person doesn’t have enough of them, they may feel extra tired. Anemia is especially common in women with heavy periods since they often lose more blood than their body creates. If you suspect that your girlfriend is anemic, encourage her to visit a doctor, who can make a formal diagnosis.
She’s an insomniac.
A restless night of little-to-no sleep may leave her exhausted and ready to crash. Insomnia is a really frustrating condition; not only does it keep you from falling asleep, but it also prevents you from remaining asleep and getting enough sleep overall. Pay close attention to how she acts during the day—if she seems exhausted and ready to pass out whenever you spend time together, there might be something bigger at play. Kindly suggest that she visit her doctor if she’s having a ton of sleepless nights. A medical professional might suggest a certain type of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or recommend a short-term sleeping pill regimen. It's usually a good idea to intervene as early as possible when it comes to insomnia, as it can become a habit.
She’s a hypersomniac.
Hypersomniacs feel extra sleepy during the day, or they may consistently oversleep. Typically, people with hypersomnia take frequent naps at pretty inconvenient times, like during their work shift, in the middle of a meal, or even in the middle of a conversation. If your girlfriend has no rhyme or reason for her sleep patterns, hypersomnia might be the culprit. Hypersomnia can be caused by a lot of different things, including drug and alcohol issues, sleep disorders, or autonomic nervous system issues. Talk with her about seeing a doctor if her sleeping habits are really out of control. If hypersomnia is the issue, there are a few prescription drugs that might help her.
She has sleep apnea.
This sleep disorder can leave someone feeling tired when they wake up. With sleep apnea, a person has trouble breathing properly throughout the night, which prevents them from getting a full, restful night of sleep. The next time your GF catches some Zzzs, see if she’s snoring, breathing inconsistently, or struggling to breathe—these are all classic signs of sleep apnea. Different factors can put someone more at risk for sleep apnea, like being overweight, smoking, and having a wider neck. Sleep apnea can be really frustrating, but there are plenty of solutions and treatments out there. Encourage her to talk with a doctor, who might recommend a Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP) device for her to wear throughout the night.
She has Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (DSPS).
People with DSPS don’t fall asleep at a normal hour, leaving them tired in the morning. If your girlfriend has DSPS, she might not start to feel tired until the very early hours of the morning, which causes her to severely oversleep. Check-in with her to see when she normally goes to bed, and see if her sleep habits match up with DSPS. Politely suggest that she meets with a doctor to get an official diagnosis. A medical professional might suggest using light therapy or chronotherapy to tackle DSPS, which help to slowly but surely push a person’s sleep schedule back to a normal hour.
She has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS).
People with CFS feel pretty low-energy and icky on a day-to-day basis. In fact, CFS is associated with other issues like having a sore throat, headache, muscle pain, dizziness, and/or heart palpitations. Keep a close eye on how she feels when you’re together; if she constantly feels under the weather without actually being ill, CFS might be the culprit. A doctor can help figure out if CFS is the issue, or if something else is at play. While there’s no official test to check for CFS, a doctor can examine your symptoms and figure out what the problem is.
She’s narcoleptic.
Narcolepsy interferes with the brain’s ability to balance waking up and falling asleep. In many cases, narcoleptic people fall asleep at very random, inconvenient times, like during breakfast or during the middle of a conversation. Overall, people with narcolepsy tend to be tired throughout the day, and may also suffer from sleep paralysis, hallucinations, and/or cataplexy (being unable to use/control their muscles). If your girlfriend has narcolepsy, she may not have much control over when she’s falling asleep. A medical professional can diagnose narcolepsy with the help of special sleep tests.
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