How to Fit in When You're in Middle School

Classes and Schoolwork

Take notes and behave well in class. Do your best to be polite, respectful, and organized. Use folders and your day planner to keep track of anything. This helps people think of you as a good student and a responsible person. Now is a great time to practice taking notes. You'll need this skill in high school. Show up early or on time. (If you're early, you can organize your things or chat with friends until the bell rings.) Don't chat while the teacher is talking. People get annoyed when you distract them from learning.Tip: Create a folder just for homework. Put incomplete homework on the left side and complete homework on the right side. This helps you see what needs to be done and what is ready to turn in.

Study. Make time to study in your daily routine. This will help you get grades and earn a good reputation. If you get good at studying, you can share study tips that might help other people. If you're really struggling with a subject, tell an adult. They might know where you can get help learning.

Raise your hand. Most teachers love students who raise their hands, because it shows that you care. Try raising your hand from time to time to answer a question or ask something. Ask questions if you don't understand something. You can raise your hand during class or visit the teacher after class.Did You Know? If you have a question, there's a good chance that other students have it too. They just might be too shy to say anything. If you raise your hand and ask, they get to learn from the answer too, and they'll probably feel grateful.

Stay away from cheating, even if you see other people doing it. Some middle school students get tempted to cheat. Don't let anyone copy your homework or papers. Even if they change it up a little, teachers can usually tell. If someone asks, say "I don't let anyone copy my work." Try offering to help them or to keep them company while they work instead.

Fitting in Socially

Try joining clubs or sports. Most schools offer different activities after school. These can be a fun way to build skills and friendships. They also give you chances to practice your skills and learn new things.

Choose to be kind and helpful. People want to be treated with respect. Nobody trusts a gossip or a bully. Don't say things behind people's backs that you wouldn't feel comfortable saying to their faces. If you feel tempted to be mean to someone, stop yourself and ask why. What's going on? Is something really bothering you? How can you handle this problem without hurting anyone?

Look for friends who share interests with you. Find people who accept you for who you are and like some of the things that you like. No one will share 100% of your interests. A good friend is someone who respects the interests they don't share. They'll also support you growing and changing. You should support them the same way.

Surround yourself with good influences. While nobody is going to be perfect, look for friends who are kind, respectful, and in the habit of making good choices. This way, you're less likely to face peer pressure or uncomfortable situations. Watch out for people who call names, skip class, cheat, misuse drugs or alcohol, or tease people who don't like being teased.

Only date if you're interested. People get interested in dating at different times. Don't feel like you have to start dating just because other people are doing it. Wait until you find someone you like.

Ask a trusted adult for advice if you're having a hard time with a problem. While you can do you best to get along with everyone, sometimes it might not run smoothly. Turn to someone wise who gets along well with other people.

Being Yourself

Don't be afraid to experiment with your style. Lots of middle schoolers are experimenting, so it's a normal thing to do. Play around and see what you like. Some people like to make huge changes over summer vacation, while others make little changes whenever they feel like it. Either way is fine.

If you have to choose between being "normal" and being happy, choose to be happy. You don't have to fit in in every single way. (In fact, being a little different can make you more interesting.) While it's nice to be accepted, you need to start by accepting yourself. Don't listen to anyone who acts like it's bad to be LGBTQ+, disabled, or a person of color. These things are normal and are no reason to be ashamed. As long as you aren't hurting anyone, it's okay.

Focus on the friends who make you truly happy. Look for friendships where you don't have to worry about peer pressure or too much drama.