Avoiding Trouble
Know and obey your school's rules! Just like in elementary school, there are rules and guidelines that you have to follow. Some of these may be the same, such as raising your hand in class. Some may be different, such as dealing with hall passes or strict dress codes. But some of these will be difficult and different. Ask questions. Teachers and staff want to be sure you know what to do and if you understand their instructions or not. Don't be afraid to ask questions! Teachers are there to help you! If you're not sure, just ask. If your school has a student handbook, look it over. While it may not cover everything, it will make clear rules, policies, and expectations. Act mature. While staff will not demand perfection, your behavior will likely be held to a higher standard than in elementary school.
Avoid drama and gossip. Naturally, people talk about other people's problems, behavior, and lives. While being informed of the social goings-on at school is healthy, unfortunately at times there may be lots of gossip and some seriously malicious rumors floating around. Try to ignore rumours, even when they’re about you, and if anyone talks or asks you about a rumour, tell them to ignore it and not spread it around. Never start rumours; they only break friendships, create enemies, hurt feelings, and make things worse for everyone. Rumours have been known to cause loneliness, depression, anxiety, and even suicide. If you have an issue with someone, talk to them directly. Be kind. If someone is talking nastily about someone, feel free to react with kindness. For instance, if there is gossip about a breakup between two people, you can react by saying, "That would be too bad if they broke up. But I don't see how that's any of my business." For rumours of a person's sexual orientation, know that a lot of people are LGBT+ and there is nothing wrong with it. If people are, they are. Help stop rumours by standing up for people and not participating by spreading the rumor. Protect other people's privacy and mistakes. You wouldn't want someone spreading your personal secrets around, would you? Drama is unnecessary. Some people think that a life has to be filled with drama to be important and appreciated by others. It does not. Focusing on the things, people, and ideas that are really important is better than worrying about who is going to ask who to the dance.
Choose your friends wisely. This is very important. Be friends with people who don’t start or participate in drama and you’ll avoid the worst things that happen in middle school. Establish a small group of good friends. Every group will face a few problems, but if you suddenly feel like your life could be a Disney Channel show, you might want to consider a more sensible group of friends. Understand that in middle school, intentionally or, in most cases, unintentionally, you will make enemies. The only way to survive is to have a close group of friends who you can trust. You don't need too many close friends; three or four good friends, and then several casual friends is definitely enough. Be nice and friendly to everyone, but don't worry about making everyone love you.
Don’t let your friends get you in trouble. Similar to the step above, you shouldn't be friends with people who get you in serious trouble. If someone asks you to lie about something important, do something illegal, or do something to hurt someone else, then don't do it. Don’t do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or what you think is wrong. This is called peer pressure and it can lead to all sorts of problems. Don’t be afraid to tell an adult if someone asks or tells you to do something really bad. This doesn't make you a snitch: it makes you a good person doing the right thing. If you make a bad decision, talk to an adult you can trust. Talking to friends about it is the fastest way to start gossip. But a warning: They may want revenge if you do that, and if they are willing enough, that may be a bad can of worms to open.
Don’t do anything that will harm your body. Just like you don’t want to do something to hurt other people, you shouldn't do anything to hurt yourself. Don’t do drugs, play choking games (or anything else that someone tells you is safe/legal, but you know it's not), or any kind of self-harm like cutting yourself. If you need help, there are always people who will help you.
Be realistic about romantic relationships. In middle school young people tend to start exploring romantic relationships. While potentially having a boyfriend or girlfriend can be exciting, it can also be quite awkward to deal with middle school romances. Girls tend to mature much quicker than boys, which means your peers may or may not be ready to date. Middle school romances do not tend to last long. Remember that movies, TV, and other media may portray middle school dating in an unrealistic way. Your results will vary. Some date, some do not. Do not feel like you are the only person who does not have a significant other, or have to be in a relationship. Most people will not be. You will mature at your own rate. In middle school, physical maturity is in a rapid state of development. Some seventh graders may look like they could sneak into high school prom, while others look much younger.
Know that gym class will be okay. Of all classes, gym tends to be the one that causes the most anxiety. You've probably heard that you’ll have to change your clothes in front of other girls or boys or maybe you've never been very good at gym and you feel embarrassed. What you have to remember is that everyone is worried and embarrassed, so you're not alone. You might feel like everyone is watching you while you change, but they are really focusing on getting themselves changed. Nobody will look at you, because they are too busy thinking you are watching them. Everyone wants to just keep to themselves and change as quickly as possible! In most middle schools in the U.S., you will not usually be forced to shower after class. While once this was almost universal practice, most PE teachers find there is not enough time for showering after class as there was in previous decades, and many are sensitive to this fact that it was a problematic time for students and staff alike. In most school locker rooms, you can usually change in a bathroom stall or shower stall if you prefer. A good strategy is to change your shirt first, when you change your pants, as your shirt will hide your underwear if you tend to be rather shy. If you’re a girl and you feel self-conscious about being on your period while you’re having to change, just wear black or brown underwear. No one will notice at all. Middle school is all about those little changes going on your body; if you feel nervous about them, talk to your parent or guardian, another trusted adult or a mentor/counselor. PE classes may not be the harsh physical activities portrayed in media or endured by your parents. In more recent years many schools now focus more on "life activities" that are not as competitive or intense. While competitive sports like soccer, football or field hockey may still be in the curriculum, it is also common to have units on yoga, cup stacking, rock climbing, cooperative games, pickleball, and archery.
Learn how to solve problems. This is a really important skill, not just for getting through middle school but for getting through your whole life. If you learn good ways to solve problems, you’ll be able to handle anything that comes your way. For example, you should learn to ask for help when you need it. Sometimes you’ll feel silly asking for help or you don’t want to admit that you’re having problems, but you don't have to. Everyone has problems, and whoever you ask for help will totally understand. They’ve had to ask for help at some point too. Apologize and accept the consequences when you've done something wrong. After making a mistake, refusing to acknowledge that you did something bad (even if you didn't mean to) will just make things harder for you. You’ll feel guilty or you’ll have to deal with people being angry with you, and you don’t want that. If you spread a rumor, apologize. If you lie to a teacher, admit it. Communicate clearly. By doing this, you are avoiding most of the problems people face. A lot of the time, rumors get started because someone misunderstands what you say or you misunderstand what they say. You might also accidentally offend someone if you say something you don’t mean. Be careful, clear and always make sure you know what you’re saying.
Know that it gets better. Remember that nobody tries to make middle school seem like it's the worst thing that will ever happen to you. In fact, you might find that it is really great! There is also the reality that it isn't always we awesome and like living in a TV show either. It can be really hard. Just believe that there will be happy times, and there will be tough times. You just have to learn to make the best of both.
Making Friends
Find people you know. This will give you a few friends to start off with. You can ask your elementary friends what school they’ll be going to at the end of your final year, just make sure to get phone numbers so that you can make plans to meet up with them at your new school.
Find people that live near you. Once you start school, you can also try to make friends with people you see getting on and off at the same bus stop. Friends that live in your neighborhood can be handy, since you’ll have an easier time hanging out and you’ll have someone nearby that you can call for homework help or advice.
Be open to new friends. Even if you have a whole bunch of your elementary friends coming with you to middle school, you should still try to make some new friends. If you don’t try to meet new people, you’ll never know what you’re missing. Maybe someone you meet will be your best friend for a while.
Join clubs. A great way to meet new friends is to join clubs at your new school. Most schools will have at least a few clubs and some have lots! Some schools will let you start your own too, if you don’t find one that sounds good to you. There might be book clubs, a bible study, movie clubs, theater clubs, environmental clubs, cooking club, robotics clubs, or yearbook club (and these are just a few examples). If your school doesn't have clubs, then you should set up an appointment with your school counselor and talk about creating a club. It will take some hard work, but you'll be able to meet some lifelong friends! Don’t forget about sports! There are sports teams if you want to join a team, but there might also be clubs that are just about watching or playing friendly matches if you aren't really good enough or don’t want to join the official school teams. Volunteering is also a good way to meet new people and make new friends. Your school might have a group that volunteers to raise money for events, make cards for elderly people or people in the hospital, clean up local parks, or other great activities.
Show your interests. You should show what you’re interested in, in subtle ways so that people that like the same thing will know they can come up and talk to you about it. This is a great way to make friends because you’ll know you already have something in common. For example, if you like Adventure Time, you can wear a Lumpy Space Princess pin on your backpack. If you like video games, get a class binder with a picture from your favorite game on it. If you like a sports team, wear a bracelet for that team. Do not go overboard. Dressing head to toe with Pokémon clothing will definitely get the point across you love that franchise. But it may be off-putting or weird if taken to the extreme. Shared interests are great, but it is not the only way to make a connection.
Act self-confident. If you show people that you think you’re a great person to be friends with, and that you think you have a lot to offer, then they’ll be much more likely to want to be friends with you. Don’t constantly apologize and don’t back down if people don’t immediately like you. Speak up for yourself, stand up straight, and celebrate the things that make you unique.
Talk to people! This is the most important part of making new friends! You’ll never make friends if you don’t talk to people. Join conversations that sound interesting and introduce yourself to people you think you’d like to be friends with. Don’t forget to speak up so that people can hear you! Talk like you mean it! Don't lie about yourself. Even if you say things that make you look awesome, you are risking that someone will find out and you'll end up without friends... Maybe you don't think you're so great but other people do!
Do fun things. If other people see you enjoying yourself, they’ll want to join in and be friends with you so that they can have fun too. You can do fun things by joining clubs, drawing in between classes, or putting together parties or other activities for after school.
Be nice! If you want people to be friends with you, it’s important to be a nice person. Who wants to be friends with a jerk? Nobody! Be nice to everyone you meet, even if they aren't nice back. People will notice that you are a great person and they will be much more likely to be nice to you. It’s important to be actively nice, not just polite. Help people that have trouble in class, stand up for others when they’re getting bullied, and do nice things for people when you can. Also, give people honest compliments when they seem like they need it! You never know when someone is going through some really tough times. They could feel like they’re dying inside and they might not show it. Your kind words or deeds could make a world of difference to them. Remember that sometimes, when people are acting really jerky, they do that because they feel bad about themselves or something that’s happening in their life. They’re mean because they don’t know what kindness looks like! Try to be nice to them even if they’re mean to you. It might help make them a better person.
Be yourself. That is the most important thing you can do to have a good year socially. You are probably thinking Oh, I've heard this hundreds of times... but it doesn't mean you won't do it! Many kids get in huge trouble when they don't act like themselves. Sometimes people think that they can just pretend to be someone they're not; the thing is if you have ever tried that, you will know that if someone finds out that you aren't who you say you are, everyone soon knows, and it's very embarrassing! It's okay to things labeled as "basic", because you should do what you need and want to do.
Have a small, close group of best friends. In that close group of friends, you know you will be able to share everything with them. You will know that a silly little fight won't ruin your friendship. Hang with each other through thick and thin. If you need to take a break from them (because of a fight, or you just need some chill time), you have other friends who you can be with. However, this does not mean you have to limit your social life to those people. Keep a few close friends, but have many friends. You may need them later in life.
Don't let your social life ruin your academic life. Too many kids always get too involved with friends at school, and forget the reason why they are at school, to learn! They get in big fights and they start to just think of school as a place for them to mingle.
Don't be too concerned with what other people think of you. If you try too hard to be popular, all of the preppy snobs will just laugh at you, and you might have a tough year. If you care about what people think, don't change yourself. Take a deep breath and stride into school confidently. Be who you are. Smile, joke, play and laugh. More often than not that's what people want. You will be liked.
Have fun! Be crazy and weird! You only have one life to live. Make the most of every moment you have and be adventurous, happy, and be that person that everyone wants to be around because they're so much fun! Be inspired! Never let a guy/girl get between you and your best friends. The relationship probably won't last forever, and while it's great right now, it won't be when you break up. Seventh grade is hard! Always remember to take a deep breath, and relax often. Just remember to try not and do things you'll regret later on.
Acing the Academics
Pay attention in class. If you want to do well in class, the best place to start is to pay attention! It’s amazing how much your grades will go up if you just pay attention and try to absorb as much information from the lesson as possible. Don’t mess with your phone, try not to daydream, and don’t pass notes with friends. There’s always time for fun stuff later!
Take notes in class. You don’t have to write down everything that the teacher says: just write down the really important or hard to remember information. Write the sort of stuff you’d say if you were explaining the lesson to someone who wasn’t there. This will help you study for tests later and also do your homework.
Do your homework. This is really important for getting decent grades. If you don’t do your homework, you’re almost guaranteed to get bad grades, even if you ace tests and stuff like that. Find some quiet time each evening and just work to get your homework done. Get help if you need it too! Your homework shouldn't take so much time that you don’t have time to relax too.
Know that teachers will be strict. Lots of the teachers will not approve of silly behaviour and slacking. Some teachers will even send you to the principal or head teacher without a warning, and that is bad.
Stay organized. Don’t just shove everything in your backpack. This will make you forget about assignments or lose important papers. Instead, have a binder for homework assignments and organize them by when they’re due. Have another binder for class notes, organized by subject. Consider getting a planner. You also want to keep your life organized! Get a planner and carefully organize your day. Set aside time for homework, time for hanging out, time for getting ready and eating breakfast in the morning, and everything else you need to do during your day.
Don’t procrastinate. Lots of people develop the very bad habit of procrastinating. This means that they don’t do things when they should. Instead, they wait until the last minute! This is bad, because it means that when you do things, you’ll do a bad job because you’ll be rushed. It will also make you really stressed. Develop a good habit of doing things at the appropriate time and you’ll save yourself a lot of trouble.
Ask questions! This is a great way to make sure you improve your grades. When you don’t understand something, ask! This way you know you’re doing something right. Even if you do understand something, it’s good to ask questions if you’re curious about something else. Always ask questions and you’ll find yourself getting smarter and smarter.
Study as much as you can. If you really want good grades, you’ll need to study. Read all of the books you are assigned and set aside plenty of time to study. Middle school is an important time to develop good school habits, so getting used to studying now will really help you later.
Try your hardest. This is the most important thing you can do in your academic life. If you don't understand something in class, stay after school or during lunch to have the teacher explain it. You may hate this teacher, but when it comes to learning and asking real questions, teachers have a soft heart.
Don’t stress over your grades. Don’t worry about getting straight A’s right now. Just focus on learning as much as you can, developing good school habits, and get the best grades you can. You shouldn’t settle for a C—but you shouldn’t worry about a B or B+.
Work together with your classmates. It's so much more fun having a study group to work with!
Aim for an A. Get all the help in school if you don't understand something. Study with friends. Just do something to enhance your education if you need help in school.
Try to invite your friends over and study for tests. This is effective since you can have fun and study at the same time!
Seek extra help. If there's one subject where you struggle, ask that teacher if you can stay after to work on it with them one day. This may seem way too over the top, but it's generally good advice, as the teacher will respect you more for paying attention to your grades. Additionally, you may find that a teacher you thought was strict isn't strict at all!
Ask your parents for help if you need it. If your teacher is busy or can't explain the concept so you understand it, asking your parents is a good technique. Kids in middle school tend to get more distant from their parents, so it's nice for your parents to know you still value their presence. You might get some great expert advice!
Improving Yourself
Explore yourself. Middle school is a great time to explore the things you enjoy and figure out what is important to you. You should take electives that you think you might like, learn to do things that you’ve always wanted to learn how to do, and read about things you’d like to do in the future. Read books about people who inspire you. Figure out what they did to get to where they got and figure out if you want to do the same. Clubs are a great way to explore things that make you happy! Try joining one at your school. The internet can also be a great place to explore things you like, especially if you like nerdy stuff! You’ll have a much easier time finding people who like the same stuff. Just be careful because just like the real world, there are lots of bad people out there on the internet.
Develop good hygiene habits. Make sure you’re washing your body, keeping your face clean, wearing clean clothes and other things to keep yourself looking nice. This will help you develop confidence and make you feel more comfortable in your body, even if it is changing.
Learn to balance responsibilities with fun. While it’s important to devote time to learning while you’re in middle school, it’s also important for you to learn how to balance responsibility with fun and relaxation. You’ll drive yourself crazy if you spend too much time studying, but you’ll also have a really hard time in life if you don’t learn how to be responsible.
Get involved. You may not realize it now, because many people don’t, but helping others can be the most rewarding thing you ever do. Making a positive difference in your community and the world can make you feel like a superhero because you’ll be one! Volunteer, help people that you see struggling, and find out how you can improve the world around you.
Exercise and eat healthy. School is all about getting your mind fit and healthy, but you need to make sure your body stays healthy too. Make sure you eat right, and get plenty of good exercise to keep your body in good condition. Getting healthy now means you’ll be able to look forward to a lifetime of good habits!
Work on your talents. If you’re good at something, you should find ways to do those things! Get better and better at things you enjoy and that you’re good at. Your talents can often be turned into a great job or hobby when you’re older (or even now). Talk to your parents about what you can do, and if they can’t help, talk to a teacher. For example, if you’re good at drawing, take an art class. If you have a talent for learning songs, join the band. If you’re good at math, offer to tutor other students (for extra credit or money!). The possibilities are endless!
Don’t sweat the little things. You’ll be a much happier person and it will be much easier to deal with problems and the stress of middle school if you learn to worry only about the problems that really matter. This can be hard to do, and will probably take a long time to learn, but it’s worth keeping in mind. For example, don’t worry about stuff like losing a game (it’s just a game!), feeling left out (you’ll find your crowd someday and you’re probably not as alone as you feel), people making accusations about you (their drama is theirs, not yours, ignore them), or other kids teasing you (you’ll be the one laughing at them when they work at 7-11 in twenty years and you have a college degree). Instead, worry about things like injustice, current events, and the world around you. These are things that matter and that you should always worry about: because if you don’t worry, you won’t do anything about it, and if people don’t do anything then the problems will never get better.
Don't be afraid to be different. There will be many times where you will feel different and alone. You might be afraid because you find yourself having a crush on the "wrong" person. You might feel like no one understands you because you like the "wrong" things. You might feel left out because you and your parents don't look like everyone else. But it is very important for you to understand that no matter how alone you feel, no matter how "wrong" or weird you think you are, there are so many people just like you. Someday you're going to meet them and you're going to find better friends and family that you never thought you would...and you will be more happy than you ever thought you could be. You might notice, for example, that while all the other girls are giggling over boys, you don't feel the same way. You might find yourself wanting a very close relationship with another girl. This shouldn't make you feel like there is something wrong with you because there is nothing wrong with you. Give things time and take things slow. You never know how you'll feel in a few months or even a few years. You might think that you're weird because your family doesn't look like or doesn't talk like everyone else's. Maybe your parents don't speak English. Maybe you have two dads. Maybe your dad is black and your mom is Asian. The important thing to understand is that families come in all shapes and sizes, and as long as you love each other, that's all that matters. You are just like everyone else. No matter how your family looks.
Using Middle School Survival Skills
Get used to dealing with your period if you’re a girl. This can be a source of lots of embarrassment and nervousness, but it shouldn’t be. All the girls have to deal with the same problems! Be prepared and you won’t have anything to worry about.
Learn to hide an erection if you’re a boy. Pretty much all boys will have to deal with this problem at some point. Don’t worry: it’s totally normal! Know how to solve the problem and you won’t have anything to worry about. Try carrying a textbook in front.
Work on your coordination. A lot of embarrassing moments in middle school come from tripping, falling, or running into someone or something at the worst times. Work on your coordination and pay attention to your surroundings and avoid your own tale of falling down the bleachers in the middle of an assembly.
Dress well. You’re probably worried about having to wear a uniform, since most middle schools these days require them, but still looking cool and being yourself. You can totally do this! With a little creativity, your uniform will be no problem.
Get a good bra, if you’re a girl. You are going to need bras and this can be kind of a scary thing. Don’t worry, though: it’s totally normal. Don’t be embarrassed to ask your mom, sister or guardian and get help at the store to find the right size, material and type for you.
Keep up your personal hygiene. Nobody wants to be stinky! Since you’re going through puberty, your body will be a little more likely to get extra stinky and sweaty. Don’t worry: it’s totally normal! With a little effort, you can stay clean and ready for the day.
Don’t stand for embarrassing pimples! As you get your grown up body, you’ll probably have to deal with embarrassing pimples. This is normal, but there’s no reason you should have to put up with it! With a little help, you can keep your skin pretty clear and nice looking. If you have constant, painful break-outs it might be a good idea to consult your doctor. Many times they can prescribe medicines that will help your skin look and feel better!
Stop bullying in its tracks. You don’t want to bully, be bullied, or let anyone else be bullied. Be brave enough to stop bullying in its tracks and make your school better for everybody!
Get great study skills. This will be very important, not just in middle school but for the rest of your school career. Get good at studying now and this will lead you to better grades and better opportunities for the rest of your life.
Learn to open your locker. Many students coming to middle school struggle with opening their lockers. Combination locks are hard to work sometimes, even for adults. Learn how to work one, and things will be much easier for you.
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