What does “Sorry not sorry” mean?
The idiom is a sarcastic way to say you don’t feel bad about something. Saying “Sorry, not sorry” means you recognize that someone may not like what you said or did, and that fact doesn’t bother you. It’s like saying. “Sorry, but I’m not actually sorry about that” or “Sorry…psych! I’m not sorry at all!” It’s an insincere apology (that really isn’t an apology in the least). “I think you and your opinions are both ridiculous—sorry not sorry!” “Airplane seats shouldn’t be able to recline, and anyone who does it is rude. Sorry not sorry to the person invading my space on this flight. ????”
How to Use “Sorry Not Sorry”
Use the phrase to casually tease your friends. You can say “Sorry not sorry” after making a playful dig at your friend’s expense or doing something to jokingly annoy them. In this context, it’s a lighthearted way to pretend you don’t care about bothering your friend and goofing around—but your friend should know that you don’t really mean it. Them: “Omg I can’t believe you got that song stuck in my head AGAIN. It’s driving me nuts!” You: “Lol, sorry not sorry! I live to annoy you ????”
Say “Sorry not sorry” as a sassy comeback. It’s especially common on social media for people to use “Sorry not sorry” when talking about an unpopular opinion. So, if someone isn’t happy with one of your opinions and you’re looking for a sassy way to show them you aren’t going to change your mind just because they disagree, “Sorry not sorry” can do the trick. “Actually money CAN buy happiness, and anyone who says otherwise is in denial. Sorry not sorry! ????” “Unpopular opinion, but dogs and cats are both overrated. Just get a fish! Sorry not sorry, people. ????” In this context, “Sorry, not sorry” can also come off as rude (if that’s how you want to sound). If you do something to upset someone and then say, “Sorry, not sorry,” you’d be genuinely dismissing their feelings in a disrespectful way rather than joking around.
Use “Sorry not sorry” to express unapologetic pride in yourself. In more recent years, “Sorry not sorry” has become a more prideful and even empowering phrase. Saying it in response to someone else’s criticism of you or your beliefs is like saying, “I don’t care if you don’t like who I am because I’m proud of myself anyway!” So, you can use it as a defensive expression. “Sorry not sorry to anyone who doesn’t like me. I guess my awesomeness is just too much to handle sometimes!” “Some guy tried telling me I was laughing too loud? It’s not my fault I was having more fun than him, sorry not sorry dude. ????”
Origins of “Sorry Not Sorry”
“Sorry not sorry” became a popular idiom in the 2000s. While its exact origins are unclear, the phrase was used at least as early as 2001, becoming more widespread over the next few years. By 2010, it started to become a popular phrase on Twitter and other social media sites—and was often associated with girls and young women using it to sound snide, sarcastic, or nasty.
Musicians like Demi Lovato have used the phrase in their songs. In Lovato’s 2017 song “Sorry Not Sorry,” she used the expression to show listeners she wouldn’t apologize for who she was, turning it into a more positive phrase associated with self-affirmation and acceptance. Musician Tyler the Creator also released a song called “Sorry Not Sorry” in 2023, with a similar message and usage of the phrase. Previously. “Sorry not sorry” was mainly thought of as a sassy, rude, and sometimes joking thing to say. Lovato’s song, “Sorry not sorry” gave it yet another meaning. Other uses of “Sorry not sorry” include: Amen, a rock band, released a song in 2004 called “Sorry Not Sorry.” Mayday Parade released a song called “Sorry Not Sorry” in 2013. Actress Naya Rivera’s 2016 memoir is titled Sorry Not Sorry: Dreams, Mistakes, and Growing Up R&B singer Bryson Tiller released a song called “Sorry Not Sorry” in 2016.
Should you say “Sorry not sorry”?
It’s better to use “Sorry not sorry” when you’re clearly joking. If you’re worried about seeming rude or malicious, avoid saying “Sorry not sorry” unless you’re joking around with friends who understand your sense of humor well enough to know you aren’t being disrespectful. Since “Sorry not sorry” can be a dismissive and insincere phrase, people who don’t know you may think you’re being rude. For example, you might say “Sorry, not sorry” to a friend after they jokingly say you’re weird for liking pineapple on pizza or a jerk for getting an annoying song stuck in their head. On the other hand, you shouldn't say “Sorry, not sorry” to someone like a coworker or boss since it’s a very casual, irreverent phrase and wouldn’t be appropriate in a professional environment.
Be aware that saying “Sorry, not sorry” can offend people. If someone is genuinely trying to explain that you hurt their feelings or upset them in some way, replying “Sorry, not sorry” will definitely come off as rude and dismissive. So, if you use the phrase, remember that it might have a different effect depending on context—and use it wisely.
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