- Show your parents that you’re interested in the sport: play it around the house, watch games on TV, or read about it.
- Then, find out where you can join a team, how much it costs, and how it might affect your schedule.
- Tell your parents why you want to play the sport. Express how it benefits you and show them all the research you’ve already done.
Showing an Active Interest in the Sport
Practice the sport around your house. If you have the equipment you need to practice, practice the sport on your own. This works best if you have a backyard or space to move around. Doing the sport on your own will show your parents how dedicated you are to learn. For instance, if you are interested in gymnastics, try doing stretches or even routines in the backyard. If you have no idea how to play the sport, watch videos meant for beginners. Don’t do anything that is beyond your comfort level.
Watch the sport. Watch the sport on TV at your house. This not only shows how interested you are, it can also familiarize your parents with the sport. Your parents may object to the sport because they don’t know much about it and aren’t comfortable with it. Watching the sport can make your parents more comfortable with the idea of you participating in the sport. You should let your parents see you watching the sport, but don’t interrupt their television time by changing the channel to the sport. This will seem aggressive and won’t have the effect that you want.
Read about the sport. Read books or magazines about the sport you want to play. It will make you more knowledgeable about the sport when the time comes to talk to your parents about letting you play it. It also shows them that you are engaged with the sport, and that it isn’t something you are interested in just because everyone else is playing it.
Know all possible objections. There are several reasons why parents could be against their child playing a sport. Make sure to be informed of all these arguments before talking to your parents. Also think of some counterarguments that could sway your parents’ decision. For instance, many parents don’t want their children to play football because of the risk of concussion or brain injury. Do some research and find out what measures can be taken to make playing football safe. Doing this research beforehand will help you make better arguments for why you should be allowed to play the sport.
Making a Plan
Find the best way to play the sport. Before talking to your parents, make a plan of how best to play the sport. Whether it be a school team, or lessons at a local gym, find the best location to play the sport. You will want to have all this information ready when you talk to your parents. A good place to start is your school, which will have sport teams for a wide variety of sports. If your school doesn’t offer the particular sport, do an Internet search to find out if there are lessons or leagues in your area.
Figure out how much money it will cost. Money can be a big objection to you playing a sport. Some sports require a lot of expensive equipment, and your parents may not think that it is worth the cost. Find out how much it would cost you to play the sport, both in terms of participating and in terms of what equipment you will need. Try to find a way to minimize how much money it will cost you. For instance, playing a sport through your school is usually a fairly inexpensive way to try out the sport, because you don’t have to pay for lessons. If you have to buy equipment, look on sites like Ebay and Craigslist to see if you can buy something used. You can also ask friends who play the sport for hand-me-downs or advice.
Make sure the sport fits around your daily activities. This is fairly easy for school sports, because they always go on before or after school. However, if you are interested in doing a sport outside of school, make sure that it doesn’t conflict with your schooling or your extra-curricular activities. Finding a way to play the sport on the weekends if a good way to make sure it doesn’t conflict with anything else.
Figure out how to maintain your grades. This new sport may end up taking a lot of your time. Draw up a schedule for yourself about when you will be able to study and do homework. This could make your parents worry less about letting you try a sport.
Draw up a plan. Now that you have all the information, draw up a plan for how you will play the sport. Gather any physical information you can, like pamphlets or schedules. You want to have all this information ready when you talk to your parents.
Talking to Your Parents
Set up the conversation. Tell your parents that you want to talk to them about playing the sport. Ask them if it’s a good time to talk, or if you should set up a time to talk later. This is a mature approach, and it will show your parents that playing the sport isn’t just a whim. Say something like, "I wanted to talk to you both about joining the soccer team. Is this a good time to talk about it?"
Tell your parents why you want to play the sport. When it comes time for the conversation, talk to your parents about why you want to play the sport. Make sure to express that you’re interested in the sport itself, and let them know that it’s an interest you have been developing. For example, you could say something like, "I've been getting really interested in cheerleading recently, and I think joining the squad would be a great way to get exercise and learn something new." Don’t say things like, “Well, all my friends are going to be on the team.” You want your parents to know that the sport is not just a social or status thing for you.
Explain the positives. Talk to your parents about why playing the sport will benefit you. You can use personal arguments that relate to you in particular, or you could explain the benefits of team sports in building leadership skills and good physical health. You can also explain why the sport would benefit your parents. For instance, if you are always bouncing off the walls, explain how participating in a sport could allow you to use your energy in a positive way and make you calmer at home.
Show your parents the plan. Tell your parents the best way you can participate in the sport, and give them any fliers or papers that you’ve picked up. Your parents will be impressed by the lengths you went to pursue the sport, and it will make giving their permission much easier if you already have everything planned out. Tell them something like, "These are the schedules for the gym I would go to. I would take my lessons every Monday, Wednesday and Friday after school."
Ask for their input. Your conversation with your parents shouldn’t be a monologue. After you have told them your reasons for wanting to play and your plans, listen to what they have to say. They may still be against the idea. If they are, try to counter their arguments. Ask them something like, "I know that you had some questions about the sport. I was wondering how you feel about me joining the team now that I've told you more about it." If, for example, your parents are worried that sports could interfere with your schoolwork, show them the study schedule you drew up for yourself. If they are worried that the sport is too dangerous, use your research to show them that the sport may not be as dangerous as they think. Try to point to specific methods that your school or gym takes to reduce the risk of injury. If they are concerned about money, tell them how you can cut the cost of playing the sport.
Stay calm. Throughout this negotiation, stay calm and respectful. You want to show your parents that you are trying to make a mature decision. Acting rude or angry will only justify their belief that you shouldn’t play the sport. Even if by the end of the discussion they still won’t give you permission, be respectful.
Keeping the Subject Open if They Say No
Don’t shut out your parents. If your parents still won’t let you play the sport, don’t act out. If you act out or shut out your parents, they will never want to revisit the idea of letting you play the sport. It may be infuriating, but try not to be to act angry or resentful.
Keep showing interest. If your parents still refuse to let you play by the end of your conversation, don’t give up. You don’t want to pester them about it, but you do want to make sure that they know that you are still interested. Keep practicing the sport in your spare time. Also keep watching or reading about the sport.
Focus on your schoolwork. If your parents are worried that you won’t be able to handle school and sports, put some extra effort into your schoolwork. When they see you succeed, they may feel differently about a sport being too much to handle. This might help them to change their mind.
Participate as a fan. If it doesn’t make you too sad, try going to games or matches. It could help you to feel involved in the sport, even if you aren’t playing. Studies show that belonging to a sports community, even as a fan, gives you a sense of belonging and makes you happier. It also shows your parents your determination to be a part of the sport and the community.
Bring the subject back up. Don’t do this until at least a few weeks, if not months, after your first discussion. Calmly tell your parents that you want to talk again about playing the sport. By this time, your parents should see you dedication and your determination. Your parents may have been looking for a sign that you are really serious about the sport. The fact that you are still clearly interested and want to revisit the subject may have changed their mind.
Compromise with your parents. If your parents flat-out refuse and do not seem like they will change their minds, try to compromise. Depending on their objections to the sport, try to find a solution that will satisfy everyone. It may not be exactly what you want, but it can be better than nothing. For instance, if your parents don’t want you playing tackle football, suggest that you could play flag football to reduce the risk of injury. If they are worried about the sport interfering with schoolwork, suggest that you could play the sport a couple times a week as opposed to every day. If they are worried about cost, find a league you can join and play for free as opposed to taking lessons.
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