How to Have a God Centered Dating Relationship

Dating in a Godly Way

Choose a partner who values their relationship with God as much as you do. If you want God to be central in your relationship, you should choose someone who is passionate about following God. Before you start dating anyone, pray that God will help you find the right person. Don’t just get swept up in your emotions or physical attraction—look for a partner who displays godly qualities like patience, kindness, and humility. While it’s possible to continue to serve God if you’re dating a nonbeliever, it will be difficult to truly make God the center of your relationship.

Date with the intention of getting married. Casual dating might be popular in the modern world, but if you’re trying to serve God, you should be looking for the partner God has chosen as your spouse. Only date someone if you see them as a potential life-long partner. That doesn’t mean that you have to marry the first person you date, of course, but do spend your time critically evaluating whether they’d be a good fit for you. For instance, you might compare your values, your methods of worship, and your long-term goals to ensure you’re compatible.

Avoid becoming physically intimate before marriage. When you’re dating someone you’re attracted to, it can be hard to resist the temptation to be close to them physically. However, God instructs His followers to wait until marriage to be physically intimate together. To help keep yourselves pure, set boundaries that you both feel are safe, honorable, and respectable. For instance, you might agree that until you’re married, you’ll only kiss on the cheek. Try to avoid innocent-seeming activities that might tempt you to have impure thoughts, like sitting on each other's laps or giving each other massages.

Embody the love described in 1 Cor 13:4-8. One of the most well-known passages in the Bible describes pure love, and it’s an excellent description of the way you should strive to treat your partner in a relationship. It describes love as patient, hopeful, trusting, and selfless. Try to live up to this example as you build a healthy, God-centered relationship. The passage says: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” Even if your faith follows a different holy text, you can still use this beautiful verse as a reminder of how to treat your partner.

Rely on God and each other when times are difficult. Inevitably in a relationship, you’ll have to face struggles together. These might be arguments because you don’t see eye-to-eye on things, or you might have to overcome hardships and grief together as a couple. No matter what comes your way, don't turn against each other. Trust that God will care for you, and work together to find God's solution to any problem. Remember, if you and your partner get married, you’ll have to take on difficult situations together throughout your life. If you have a hard time working together when you’re dating, you may have a hard time being on the same page later on, as well.

Avoid situations where you and your partner might be tempted to sin. If you want God to be the center of your relationship, it’s a good idea for the two of you to avoid people, places, and situations where you might be tempted to do things you know displease God. You might already do this on your own, but it can be harder when you’re dating someone and the two of you are trying to plan things to do together. For instance, you might choose not to attend a party if you suspect there will be drinking and drugs, or you might avoid going to clubs where people tend to dance suggestively. You might suggest another fun activity instead, like going to a baseball game or having a picnic. You may also want to avoid watching movies or TV shows that contain graphic sex, violence, or language. Instead, look for wholesome media that will enrich or educate you.

Spend time with other godly couples. Group dating can help you avoid the temptation to be physical, but it is also a way to strengthen your identity in God, since you'll be surrounded by other people who are also seeking Him. Try to find another couple or a group of peers who are about your same age, and spend time together on a regular basis. You might choose to have a weekly group worship, do team-based service missions, or just hang out and do casual things like grilling, going out to eat, or playing sports. It can also help you strengthen your relationship if you find mentors within your church. For instance, you might sit down with a couple who’s been married for several years to ask them about some of the challenges they dealt with when they were dating.

Prioritizing Worship

Continue growing your own relationship with God. For God to be central in your dating relationship, He first has to be the center of your own life. Spend time each day praying, reading scripture, and listening for His calling in your life. This will help encourage your partner to focus on their spiritual growth, as well, which will benefit you as a couple. Try setting aside a little time every morning for a devotional. By starting your day out with God as the focus, it will be easier to keep Him in mind all day.

Attend worship services with each other. Even if you and your partner attend different churches, try to make an effort to go to church with each other, at least occasionally. Hearing God’s word and worshiping together will strengthen you as a couple, and it will be easier to make God the center of your relationship. You can also attend other church events together, like dinners, informal prayer groups, or service-based activities. Take turns attending each other's churches if you're both part of different faith communities.

Study scripture together to grow closer to each other and God. By reading God’s word together, you can find direction as a couple, and it will strengthen the feeling that God is the center of your relationship. This intimate act will also help you feel closer to each other in a healthy, spiritual way. Try reading a daily devotional together, or take turns choosing passages that are meaningful to you. You could also join a Bible study together.

Pray with each other often. Prayer is one of the most important things you can do to build a relationship with God, and it should be a central part of your relationship. It can seem a little strange at first to pray together out loud, but if you practice doing it regularly, it will become a natural and beautiful part of your routine together. Pray together whenever you get the chance, such as before meals, at the end of the day, or when you're on the phone. Remember to pray for your partner in your personal prayers, as well.

Support each other as you serve God. People feel called to serve God in a variety of different ways. You might serve Him by being a mentor, helping people in crisis, or simply by living in a way that pleases Him. Not only should you pursue your own individual path toward serving God, but you should also encourage your partner to nourish their gifts and talents, so that they can use them to glorify God as well. For instance, if you’re dating someone who sings beautifully, you might encourage them to join the choir, then attend any performances put on by their singing group. You can also look for opportunities to serve together, like going on mission trips, cooking meals for families in need, or teaching a class together.