What are the puppy blues?
Puppy blues are feelings of anxiety or depression after getting a puppy. After the euphoria of getting a new puppy wears off, many new owners experience the puppy blues, in which they may feel overwhelmed, guilty, or helpless. They may struggle to connect with their puppy and even consider rehoming it. The severity of these symptoms may change daily, but overall the negative feelings will interfere with the owner’s daily life. Some consider the puppy blues to be the pet version of postpartum depression.
Coping with the Puppy Blues
Learn as much about your puppy as possible beforehand. Even if you’ve had dogs before, every breed (and every individual dog) is different. A big reason people experience the puppy blues is because they weren’t fully prepared to care for a puppy. Research everything you can about caring for and training puppies, as well as your puppy’s breed so you know what behaviors to expect. Read as many books, articles, and blogs about training puppies as you can. In addition to reading, watch online training videos to see how to apply your knowledge in real life. If you have specific questions, reach out to a vet or an animal behavior specialist. Don’t stop researching once you have your puppy. As you learn your puppy’s behavior, you may have more questions than answers!
Remember the puppy stage is temporary. Many things that trigger the puppy blues involve training your puppy. Remember that your pup is young and it’s still learning how to navigate the world. It may take a while for your training efforts to stick, but once they do, things will get a lot easier. When you feel yourself getting frustrated, take a deep breath and tell yourself that this phase won’t last forever.
Celebrate the small victories. Any progress is progress. It can be easy to focus on the negative, especially when it seems like the negative outweighs the positive, but this usually only makes your anxiety or depression worse. Instead, focus on the things your puppy does correctly. Give your pup a treat and congratulate yourself on taking a step in the right direction. For example, celebrate the first time your puppy communicated that it needed to use the bathroom or when it stopped growling when someone came near its food. Remember, some days will be better than others and it is possible for your pup’s behavior to regress. Just don’t give up and continue to focus on the positive.
Ask others for help. Even if you’re the sole owner of your puppy, you don’t have to handle everything alone. If you have friends who are dog owners, ask them for advice, or talk to people at the dog park to get an idea of what to expect. Reach out to professionals, as well, like dog trainers and veterinarians for expert advice. If you can, consider signing your puppy up for a training course. Dog trainers have experience with all kinds of dogs, so working with one can help make your journey smoother.
Acknowledge how your life has changed. Getting a puppy is a huge responsibility and it often comes with sacrifices people don’t think about. When you get a puppy, your daily routine will change and you’ll have to spend a lot of time, money, and energy caring for your new pet. It’s okay to grieve the independence you’ve lost, and it might even help you come to terms with your new life more quickly. If you push all your negative feelings down, they’ll only grow larger and it may make you resent your pup.
Don’t compare your puppy to other pets. If you had a very positive experience with another dog, it’s easy to bring those feelings and expectations over to your new puppy. However, your puppy will have its own personality that may be very different from your other dog. If you place expectations on your pup, it can make it more difficult to build a positive relationship with it. Take the time to get to know your new puppy so you’ll have an easier time bonding and training.
Make socialization a priority. Many dog behavioral experts believe a lack of proper socialization leads to many behavioral problems. In addition to training your puppy, make sure to introduce it to other dogs and other people. This will usually prevent your pup from developing fear, aggression, and generalized anxiety, and will make training easier. Talk to your vet to make sure your puppy has all the needed vaccinations before interacting with other dogs and people.
Puppy Blues Causes
You’re struggling to potty train your puppy. Potty training can be difficult for any dog or puppy, so it’s often especially frustrating when your nice, clean house has suddenly become your pup’s bathroom. Try to remember that everything is new for your puppy, too, and have patience with them. As you potty train your dog, invest in a good carpet cleaner if they keep going on the floor, and try to remove the smell as soon as possible. Dogs mark their territory, so they’ll keep going to the same spot unless the smell is removed. Try using puppy training pads and slowly moving them closer to the door, or take your pup outside every time it eats or wakes up. Don’t scold your dog if you discover they had an accident after the fact. It won’t understand what it did wrong and will just confuse it.
Your puppy bites and nips at you. Even if they don’t mean to hurt you, puppy bites can be painful. It’s natural to feel upset if your puppy is constantly nipping at your hands or ankles. If you’re already tired from trying to train your pup, these feelings can easily grow into the puppy blues. Puppies often explore the world with their mouths. They often bite their littermates when they’re playing. To get your pup to stop biting, let out a high-pitched help when it bites you. This will help it learn that biting hurts you, as this is how another dog would react to pain. Immediately stop playing with it and walk away so it understands that it shouldn’t bite you.
The puppy chews on and destroys everything. Puppies usually chew on things because they’re teething, but that usually means you have to keep an eye on them at all times. Any time you look away, there’s a chance your pup could start chewing on your shoes, your furniture, or anything else they don’t need to chew on. This often adds even more stress, as you have to monitor your dog constantly and potentially spend money to replace the things they ruined. Puppies usually chew on things when they’re teething because their gums are uncomfortable and they don’t know how to relieve the feeling. Try getting your pup some toys specific for teething and playing more enrichment games to keep them distracted.
Your puppy won’t stop barking. Dogs bark to communicate, but there are points when it becomes excessive and can add more stress to your life. Your puppy may bark because it’s bored, excited, defensive, or wants attention. In the early days, it can often be difficult to figure out what it needs, which only adds to the frustration. Try to figure out why your pup is barking. For example, if it’s barking while looking out the window, it may be barking defensively if it sees something it perceives as a threat. In this case, close the curtains so it can’t see out. If your puppy is barking for attention, try to ignore it so it sees it won’t be rewarded for this behavior.
Your puppy is too energetic. If you’re a new dog owner, you might not have realized just how much energy puppies have. They may wake you up at night or early in the morning needing to go out or wanting to play. If your puppy seems like it doesn’t have an off switch, this can lead to exhaustion on your part, which often makes feelings of anxiety or depression worse. Try playing with your pup at different times throughout the day to wear them out. Go for walks, schedule play dates with other puppies, and get them plenty of toys they can play with by themselves.
The puppy has separation anxiety. When you first get a new puppy, you may be a bit paranoid about leaving it at home alone, especially if it has a tendency to destroy the house without supervision. However, if you never leave your pup alone, it may develop separation anxiety, which will only increase negative behavior when you do need to leave it alone. This, in turn, can create even more anxiety for you. It may help to crate train your pup so you can leave the house without worrying what it will get into while you’re away. If nothing seems to help your pup’s anxiety, consider using calming supplements or medications.
How long do the puppy blues last?
The feelings can last anywhere from a few days up to a year. In most cases, the puppy blues peak within the first month of owning the puppy and begin to tail off toward the one year mark. The feelings don’t usually last longer than a year, as that’s when the puppy phase starts to end. Everyone’s experience is different, though, so your experience may be longer or shorter than average.
Who experiences the puppy blues?
Any puppy owner can experience the puppy blues. Don’t feel bad if you’re experiencing the puppy blues—it’s more common than you think. While the feelings may be more common for first-time owners, even experienced dog owners can get the puppy blues. However, some owners are more at risk than others. Here are some examples of owners who might be more likely to experience the puppy blues: First-time puppy owners: Even when first-time owners do their research, having a puppy is very different than reading about having a puppy. New owners often get overwhelmed with the reality, which can lead to the puppy blues. Sole caretakers: Taking care of a puppy is difficult for anyone, but it can be especially so if you have no one to help you. If you’re the only person caring for your puppy, you have to do everything yourself, which can be overwhelming and stressful. Owners with multiple dogs: Owners who already have dogs have to juggle caring for all of them while also training a new puppy. Even if the other dogs are well-behaved, it can be a lot to handle, and it’s even more difficult if your dogs don’t get along with the new pup. Male owners: According to a survey done by ManyPets, 76% of male owners experienced feelings of anxiety or depression, compared to 66% of female owners. 23% of male owners said they regretted getting their puppy, while only 6% of female owners said they regretted it.
Should you rehome your puppy?
It’s up to you, but remember the puppy blues will go away. If you were really excited about getting a puppy, you probably shouldn’t immediately consider rehoming it if things aren’t going according to plan. Give your pup some time and see if things get easier with time. If you truly feel like you’ve exhausted all resources and nothing is working, rehoming your pup may be the most responsible thing to do.
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